I watch Him laugh with Her. What He doesn't know is that with each of His happy laughs, My sore heart breaks. We were friends once upon a time. He was even my first love. Yet he doesn’t understand how much I ache with lust, pain, anger, love, and jealously. He seems to always smile at Her, even though I came first. I fought a hard battle, and in the end, I also fell the hardest.
Every night and every day I shed a tear or two and wonder what it would be like if I didn’t make such a pain staking decision. If I would have talk to him about it, maybe things would be different. The pain is always over bearing, to the point where it isn’t just tears I shed, but blood. My family and friends worry, perhaps more then I’ll ever know. I know it’s unfair to make then worry about me so much.
And what’s the worst part you ask? Well, He has no idea.